The Wild, Wild, West
by twixxy
Summary: The Eds, and cul-de-sac kids, including a new char. Mallory, travel back in time to the Wild West.


A/N: This is rated R so I have the freedom to write about anything I want in feature chapters. Also, this story contains a new character, Mallory. I didn't put up the introduction story, because it's a load of crap. Please review, and I do accept flames, I tend to learn from my mistakes. I wrote this about a year and a half ago though (I'm 13 now), when I was eleven, so please consider that when reviewing. Oh yeah, I didn't research for this story, so take that into consideration. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
1 Chapter One  
  
Times had changed too quickly. Ed, Edd, and Eddy were all thirteen now, while Mallory was one year away from sweet sixteen, which meant she was fifteen. Ed got his own chicken, and learned some new vocabulary. Eddy also learned some new vocab, but not innocent words. He also found more interest in girls. Mallory grew her hair out, and still had practically no interest in boys. While everyone else had changed, Double D had stayed the same, except for the fact he got a few inches taller.  
  
"Where are all the damn pigeons?" Eddy shouted in frustration.  
  
"Nobody's home, in the lane, or at the playground." Double D said pondering.  
  
"Cool! Look at that! It looks like the wormhole from I Was a Teenage Time-Traveler!" Ed cried.  
  
As the Eds and Mallory approached it, they were sucked in, and knocked out cold.  
  
When the Eds and Mallory awoke, they looked at their surroundings. They appeared to be in the Wild West. Suddenly Mallory let out a high pitched long scream.  
  
"What's wrong?" Edd asked scared stiff.  
  
"I'm wearing totally covered in cow skin! An I'm wearing no bra!" Mallory cried looking down at her clothes. She was wearing tight fitting leather pants, and a cow skin tube top.  
  
"What do you mean?" Eddy said looking interested. "I think you look hot."  
  
"I hate wearing animals!" she yelled in disgust.  
  
By now, the Eds had noticed their apparel. Edd was wearing a red collared shirt, brown cowboy hat, and jeans. Eddy was dressed similar, except he had a yellow shirt, and a black hat. Ed was wearing brown leather pants, a white collared shirt, and a white cowboy hat. All of them were wearing cowboy boots with spurs.  
  
Soon, Edd was observing the buildings. There was a saloon, bank, jail, and much more. Suddenly, he saw Kevin, dressed in a ten gallon hat, a black shirt, jeans, as well as cowboy boots with spurs. Kevin had just exited the jail, he had a shiny sheriff pin pinned to his shirt. Nazz followed him, wearing a cow skin dress, cowboy boots, and a black cowboy hat.  
  
All of the Eds, and Mallory instantly ducked behind a rock. Angry screams, and babyish whimpers could be heard from the jail. A eagle flew across the horizon, as Ed noticed Kevin jingling a long ring of keys.  
  
"Kevin! You better let us out of here!" Sarah screamed.  
  
"Help!" Jimmy cried.  
  
As soon as Kevin went into another building, they rushed into the jail. In a cell, stood shivering Jimmy, and screaming Sarah. Mallory pulled a bobby pin out of her hair, and picked the lock quickly and quietly.  
  
"Are you insane! Why let the half pints out! Kevin actually did something cool!" Eddy complained.  
  
"Shut up Eddy!" Mallory replied continuing to pick the lock.  
  
The lock was soon picked, and Sarah and Jimmy were free.  
  
"Thanks Mallory!" Sarah and Jimmy exclaimed hugging her.  
  
"Sheesh." Eddy said rolling his eyes.  
  
Mallory grinned, then her grin turned into a frown.  
  
"He's coming." Ed whispered. "With potatoes."  
  
"Where can we hide? Not the cell, he'll lock us in." Double D asked examining the area.  
  
"The only place we can hide is the cell." Sarah said sighing. They all quickly got into the cell as Kevin came through the door.  
  
He had a gun in his holster, and craned his neck to listen for signs of life. He glanced around the jail, and started towards the cells. Kevin studied the cells one by one. Once he reached the third one, the one that contained the Eds, Mallory, Sarah and Jimmy, he drew his gun.  
  
"Put your hands up, and don't move, or Mallory gets it." Kevin ordered pointing his gun at Mallory.  
  
Everyone obeyed Kevin's order. He quickly emptied everyone's pockets, and took all Mallory's bobby pins. He then lowered his gun.  
  
"Sarah, Mallory, you two come with me." Kevin commanded motioning for them to step out of the cell.  
  
As soon as the two girls stepped out, Kevin closed the cell door, and locked it. He then led Mallory and Sarah to the stocks, which seemed out of place. That's because they were located in the very last cell in the jail, which had extra padlocks, as well as a whip.  
  
"Get in." Kevin demanded.  
  
Mallory and Sarah instantly stepped into the cell, and Kevin followed them. He opened the lock on the stocks, and gestured for them to put their necks and wrists in the stocks. Mallory willfully did, while Sarah hesitated. Kevin finally had to hold Sarah down as he closed and locked the stocks. He then left the cell, locking the door behind him.  
  
Meanwhile, the Eds and Jimmy were all slouched around the cell, thinking of an escape plan. Jimmy sighed as a tear trickled down his cheek, from thinking of poor Sarah. What if Kevin had disposed of her?  
  
"Hey Plank! A wormhole!" Jonny said excitedly to his wooden buddy. "What's that, we should go in? Okay." Jonny neared, and was sucked in along with Plank.  
  
Jonny soon woke up, and found Plank wearing a bandanna, and cowboy hat.  
  
"You look like a cowboy!" Jonny giggled.  
  
He then looked down at his own clothes, and burst out laughing. Jonny was wearing a matching bandanna and hat, as well as a blue collared shirt, and jeans. He then wandered off towards the town.  
  
Back in the stocks, Sarah and Mallory were struggling to get free. They were soon exhausted and disappointed. Kevin, who they hated, had them trapped in a western jail.  
  
Now Jonny was in the town, behind the same rock the Eds and Mallory had hid behind when they first entered. He and Plank watched Kevin walk through the saloon's swing doors. He heard laughter and talk from inside.  
  
"Let's go in Plank!" Jonny said getting ready to go into the saloon. "What's that? Trouble in the saloon, well then let's sneak into the kitchen and listen in."  
  
Jonny and Plank dashed for the kitchen door, and entered silently.  
  
"Well, did you get the losers locked up?" Nazz asked Kevin.  
  
"Yeah! The dorks didn't even try to resist! They believed my gun was loaded." Kevin said laughing.  
  
"Even Mallory?" Nazz questioned.  
  
"Yep." Kevin said with a drawl.  
  
"Good, that bitchy cousin of mine deserves it!" Nazz replied.  
  
Rolf was seated at the bar watching the animated conversation, while Jonny was sitting next to the stove in the kitchen, out of sight.  
  
"Are you going to feed them?" Rolf inquired.  
  
"Maybe, if they behave, and they don't try to escape again." Kevin retorted.  
  
That was enough for Jonny's ears, he rushed out the kitchen door again. He spotted the barred windows of the jail, and ran in the jail door. He closed it quietly behind him. Jonny walked down past the rows of cells, until he spotted the Eds and Jimmy.  
  
"Jonny boy!" Eddy whispered happily.  
  
Jonny turned towards them.  
  
"Help us out of here! If you can find a pickax, you can break the wall in here form the outside!" Double D exclaimed.  
  
"What about Mallory and Sarah?" Jonny asked blankly.  
  
"Gravy!" Ed replied.  
  
"Who gives a damn about them?" Eddy pouted.  
  
"Me." Jimmy, Double D, Ed, and Jonny echoed.  
  
"I think Nazz wants Mallory killed." Jonny said hoarsely.  
  
"Nazz? Mallory killed? Holy smokes!" Jimmy shouted before he fainted.  
  
"Just get a pickax melon head!" Eddy said motioning for him to scurry.  
  
Jonny got the message, and left the jail in search of a pickax. He was soon in the outskirts of town, and near a creek.  
  
"What's that Plank? Keep going? A cavern? Okay." Jonny said to his wooden friend.  
  
Jonny and Plank reached a cavern after about an hour. It looked so relaxing because of the shade and coolness it would provide. They now were wishing they got a drink when they were at the creek. Jonny stepped into the darkness, and sighed a sigh of relief. He walked deeper into the cavern, and soon stumbled over something. He reached down, and felt around. It was a skeleton holding a pickax! Jonny pried the pickax from the skeleton's hands, and ran out of the cavern as fast as his feet could carry him.  
  
"Where is he?" Eddy wondered.  
  
Double D was pampering a sick Jimmy, and Ed was staring out the barred window.  
  
Mallory and Sarah were thinking about escaping, but even for their cunning minds, they couldn't think of a plan.  
  
An hour and a half later, Jonny arrived in the town with the pickax. He studied the outside of the jail, and finally decided the boys' cell was the one with the window that had Ed's head on the other side of it. He rose the tool high in the air, and drew it down upon the wall. After about twenty more hits, the wall started to crumble. By now, Eddy, Double D, Ed, and Jimmy were all kicking the area that Jonny was trying to break. There was soon a considerably large hold in the wall.  
  
All of the occupants of the cell tried to squeeze out at once. Ed made it through first, followed by Eddy, Double D, and Jimmy. All of the boys were now free, and they had an important decision to make.  
  
"How are we gonna free the girls?" Eddy asked.  
  
"Use wax." Ed said stupidly.  
  
"We could always sneak back into the jail, get Mallory's bobby pins, and pick the locks." Double D suggested.  
  
"None of us know how to pick locks, or where to find the bobby pins." Eddy said impatiently.  
  
"Plank does." Jonny replied gesturing towards his best buddy.  
  
"Where are they then?" Eddy questioned rolling his eyes.  
  
"Top left drawer in Kevin's desk." Jonny said all-knowingly.  
  
"Okay, Jonny and I will go in. With Plank's knowledge, and my intelligence, we'll be able to free Sarah and Mallory in no time." Double D said heading into the jail with Jonny and Plank.  
  
Double D retrieved the bobby pins, which were exactly where Plank said they would be. Then they headed down to the last cell, where the girls were located. Jonny translated what Plank said, and the first lock was now open. The two boys were now in the cell, only the stock padlock to go.  
  
Jonny picked the lock this time, under Plank's instructional aid. He lifted the top of the stocks up, and the girls were free, but Kevin was on his way in!  
  
Jonny grabbed Sarah's hand, and Double D took Mallory's and led them through the hole in their old cell. They made it out just as Kevin came in with a ax.  
  
Jimmy, Sarah, Jonny, Plank, The Eds, and Mallory all ran around to the back of the jail.  
  
"How do we escape?" Jimmy asked breathlessly.  
  
"Horseys!" Sarah said pointing to five horses tied up to a post in the distance. They all ran for their lives, and quickly reached the horses. The horses were already saddled up, and bridled. Sarah and Jimmy climbed onto a pinto's back, while Jonny untied the ropes from all of the horses. Jonny and Plank leaped up onto a palomino, while Eddy rode on a brown mare, Ed on a white stallion, and Double D and Mallory shared a black mare together.  
  
The reins cracked in a chorus, and they were off, headed for the unknown.  
  
After hours of riding across the expansive plains, they arrived at a ghost town, and tied their horses to a post by a water bucket. Then our heroes and heroines headed inside the saloon.  
  
Cobwebs hung everywhere, and Double D went to work dusting, sweeping, and looking for secret passages. He had always wanted to find one. While Sarah and Jimmy went into the kitchen to cook up dinner.  
  
"What the…" Double D exclaimed dropping his broom. "A hollow panel, how intriguing! " He tapped on it another time, and it opened to reveal a hidden staircase.  
  
Step after step after step, when Double D finally reached the top, he was in awe. There were four cots, a few oil lamps, old books, and matches. Should he let anyone know about his discovery? Surely everyone would be fighting over the beds, and that meant Sarah, Jimmy, Ed, and Mallory would be up on the comfy cots. No, he would not tell anyone, but who he thought deserved the beds.  
  
"Double D?" Eddy called from downstairs.  
  
Double D quickly rushed down the stairs, picked up his broom, and began sweeping again like nothing happened.  
  
That night, Sarah and Jimmy had made bread for dinner. The old supplies in the kitchen only supplied enough for a few days worth, and it would be very, well, old tasting bread.  
  
They all sat down at the bar, and ate their bread graciously. The bread was washed down with a shot of water. Jonny wandered over to the window and screamed, dropping Plank.  
  
"What is it twirp?" Eddy asked cleaning off the bar counter.  
  
"Kevin, Nazz, Rolf!" Jonny squealed picking up Plank, and dusting him off.  
  
"Where are we going to hide?" Sarah asked almost in tears.  
  
"This way!" Double D said tapping on the panel again.  
  
The wall opened, and all the kids stampeded up the staircase. Double D was the last up, closing the panel behind him. They all were upstairs, sitting on the cots, when they heard the swinging doors open.  
  
"They've got to be here somewhere." Kevin said scratching his head.  
  
"The dirt says they abandoned their horses." Rolf implied.  
  
"Dirt, shmirt." Nazz said examining the place. "Wait, there's no grunge, dust, or dirt here! They must have been here! Double D dusted this place from head to toe!"  
  
"Curse my neatness!" Double D said quietly slapping his forehead.  
  
"Where'd they go then?" Kevin asked Nazz. "They couldn't have left because the footprints in the dirt only lead in!"  
  
"Secret passage." Nazz retorted sticking her nose up in the air.  
  
"That's it!" Kevin said starting to tap the walls. "Wait, if they left through a secret passage, they must be out. No use searching here."  
  
"Okay, let's go." Rolf said exiting the building.  
  
Nazz and Kevin followed.  
  
Everyone upstairs gave a sigh of comfort.  
  
The next few minutes were silent, until everyone was sure Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf had left.  
  
"So who gets the beds?" Eddy asked.  
  
"How about all the older kids get the beds." Ed suggested.  
  
"No younger kids, or I'll tell mom!" Sarah said.  
  
"You can't tell your mom Sarah, we're stranded in the past." Double D reminded her.  
  
"Let's have a hat drawing!" Mallory exclaimed.  
  
"We don't have paper." Double D reminded her.  
  
"Books." Mallory replied.  
  
"No! Not the books! They're history!" Double D said running to protect them.  
  
All the kids crowded around him coldly.  
  
"Do we have to get psychical?" Mallory inquired.  
  
Double D just stood protecting the books.  
  
"You still got that rope Eddy?" Mallory said turning to Ed.  
  
"Yep." Eddy said tossing it to her.  
  
"Where'd you get that?" Double D asked frightened.  
  
"I snatched it from the girls' cell." Eddy replied grinning.  
  
Mallory pranced at Double D, and he moved to the side. She rubbed her head, and got back up. She made the rope into a lasso, and swirled it around and around in the air.  
  
The kids all sat down on the cots, so only Mallory and Double D were standing.  
  
Mallory threw the lasso over Double D's and when it was falling to the ground, she pulled it tight. Double D's arms were now tied to his body, and he was being tugged towards Mallory. Ed held Double D while Mallory ripped eight pieces of paper from the bottom of the pages. She then yelled in madness. She had no writing utensil!  
  
"What's wrong now?" Eddy asked.  
  
"We don't have a writing utensil!" Mallory screamed.  
  
"See, all that energy wasted for nothing!" Double D called before Ed slammed his hand over his mouth.  
  
"Now what?" Sarah questioned annoyed.  
  
"The two youngest and two oldest kids." Jonny mentioned.  
  
"Okay!" Sarah said happily.  
  
"That would be, Sarah, Jimmy, Mallory, and Double D, damn!" Eddy shouted.  
  
Ed released and untied Double D, who grabbed the book, sat down in a cot, and stared tearfully at the torn pages.  
  
Mallory lay down in the bed in-between Sarah and Double D. Jimmy fell asleep almost immediately in the cot next to Sarah, who was restless. Eddy, Ed, Jonny, and Plank fell asleep on the floor.  
  
The next morning was a hot one, and had a beautiful sun rise. Mallory rose late, and found everyone already downstairs eating breakfast, which was water, and more of the bread from last night. She managed to grab a thin slice, and found a seat at the bar. She ate it quickly and watched Double D, who was staring out the window.  
  
"I've got a plan to get rid of them for now." Double D said still watching the window.  
  
"What?" Sarah asked.  
  
"Jimmy rides his own horse, as well as Mallory." Double D replied.  
  
"How?" Jonny said gulping down his bread.  
  
"They take Nazz, Kevin, and Rolf's horses, they only have two." Double D explained.  
  
"Cool, let's go!" Ed said running for the doors.  
  
Everyone else followed. Mallory grabbed Nazz and Kevin's horse, which was black and white, while Jimmy took Rolf's which was brown and white. The rest of the gang got onto their horses, and cracked the reins. They were off.  
  
A few hours later, they arrived in a field of tall grass, a prairie. They started to gather materials to build a shelter. Sarah and Jimmy searched the prairie for old materials, and they found a big sheet, and a buffalo skin. Double D, Ed, and Eddy collected various sticks to build a frame, while Mallory, Jonny, and Plank searched for food, and helped direct.  
  
The materials were soon all together, and Double D was instructing how to put it together. The sticks soon were a scaffold, and the buffalo skin, a cover for the scaffold. The sheet was used as a ground cover.  
  
It was soon night, and everyone sat together in the shelter. A coyote could be heard howling nearby. Everyone was shivering, looking around.  
  
"It's hungry." Ed whispered.  
  
Everyone huddled together, and soon feel to sleep.  
  
The next morning, everyone awoke early to see the lovely sunrise across the prairie. All of the kids were fully awake, except Eddy, who complained he didn't get enough sleep because of somebody snoring.  
  
The all took apart the shelter, piece by piece, making sure to leave no signs they had been there. Then, they all hitched up their horses, and got ready to leave. The land beyond was parched and dry. The sky was promising a storm, and Double D was worrying, for he knew these were called flash floods, which came fast, and furious. Everyone would drown if they didn't make it to another town in time, or higher ground. But higher ground would be hard to reach, for the vast land around them was flat, except a rock formation in the distance.  
  
"We've got to make it to those rocks, or a town." Double D explained climbing on to his horse.  
  
"Why?" Jonny asked.  
  
"Flash flood." Double D said as he watched Mallory's slender, curvy, figure, leap on to a horse.  
  
They were all soon ready to go, and the horses galloped for the rocks at a fast speed. Only heat lightening was striking, nothing serious yet, but time was running out.  
  
Once they reached the rocks, nobody knew what to do. They were so high up, and how could they get the horses up?  
  
"We have to just leave the horses." Eddy said staring to climb up the rocks.  
  
"No! I'm staying with them!" Sarah screamed.  
  
"No Sarah!" Ed cried.  
  
"I see a narrow path, it will be risky, but we can lead the horses up." Double D said ending the conversation.  
  
Everyone hopped off their horses, and slowly lead their horses up the path. They reached the top, when it started to rain heavily.  
  
"Now what? Act as lightening rods?" Eddy asked shivering from the cold rain.  
  
"This way!" Mallory yelled above the roar of the wind.  
  
She ran over the slippery rocks, leading the horses and kids into a cavern. There were cave paintings on the wall, and according to Double D, Indian cave paintings to be exact. Everyone sat in the back of the cave freezing, while Sarah tried to calm the horses. Suddenly, a short while after, the pounding of the rain stopped, and Double D looked out of the cave to see the sun coming out from behind the clouds.  
  
Everything was wet, and a few things were scattered across the land infront of them, that had been carried by the rain. But the flash floods mostly affected the canyons.  
  
Where would they head next? Another town? And where was Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf? Did the Kankers find the wormhole and if they did, where are they? Find out in Chapter Two. 


End file.
